Tuesday, 10 April 2007

the worst look in the world

without doubt the most foul era of this world's existence aesthetic wise, would be the middle ages. it is them who we have to thank for the hideous medieval revival in the 70s and crushed velvet.
laceup tops, hideous bent jewellery, cheap magical stones and crystals, wispy long hair and hand bags held together with ribbons.

don't get me wrong, one person has pulled it off. stevie nicks. what a genius. she can pull a wizard sleeve off and a silk scarf as she weaves a trail of magic where ever she goes. no one else can. and rightly so, she can have her antique furniture and tiffany lamps flown around the world with her, just to make her that bit more comfortable, as it is only going to make her performance for us even better

the dark ages did however bring about fine weaponry. who can go past a mace or a bommy knocker? torture chambers and moats are other things that we could use more of today. but fuck the clothes, they are seriously ugly, and look even worse today


Carter said...

Glad you mentioned Medieval weapons. They're bloody excellent. I went looking for a picture of a bohemian ear spoon because it has one of the best names of any weapon ever, including a luger.

Look what I found:

You can buy torture spikes and beheading swords.

Real ones.

C R Carter said...

Yes, good point on medieval fashions but please don't fall into the trap of confusing the Dark Ages (generally agreed to commence at the end of the Roman occupation in the middle of the 5th century A.D. and end with the Norman invasion) with the Middle Ages (1066-1485, the beginning of the Tudor dynasty). There are worse traps to fall in (like the one my grandfather made for trespassing children which finally saw him institutionalised) but this is a trap nonetheless. The author is correct in stating that moats were a good thing and there are not enough of them in the world today. We are told every day that we live in violent times, yet no-one seems to view a moat as necessary to their survival. A paradox there.